Stir Crazy
Warning: This post does not contain my usual surf stoke (well maybe a little). I've been going through a range of emotions the past week. I thought I'd share or else I'd have no desire to write anything here. Can you tell I've been off the blog wagon?
Monday was a day of productivity and then frustration. I returned emails, worked on three bids for future work, and more or less waited on the afternoon mail to arrive. D was at home, working on the garden, and we went to breakfast and then the spent two hours at the bank setting up a joint checking account.
Ahh domestic life.
The afternoon mail was supposed to deliver a check I've been waiting on for weeks. From another photographer. Who I did contract work for IN THE BEGINNING OF APRIL. He promised it was going out last week. Needless to say it didn't arrive. After contacting him I realized it wouldn't be arriving anytime soon, because he is a poor businessman and I'll withhold from name calling any more than that. As you can imagine I contemplated putting my fist through the wall in frustration. Then I let my money troubles settle in the pit of my stomach, and I ran off to physical therapy.
Ahh freelance life.
Tuesday was a day of blissful harmony. I accepted my state of brokeness, and went surfing, a more or less free activity that gives me more satisfaction than most things in life. It was perfect, wonderful, and peeling. Small and waist-chest high, longboardable and juicy...optimal tide with offshore winds. It was a quick but productive session. Exactly what I needed.
Ahh, freelance life.
I rushed home to pack in a grocery trip in preparation for bbq night with our new neighbors. Thanks to D and his financial generousity, I went to the Farmer's Market and got some orgasmic, oops, organic, fruits and veggies, and then the Bowl for free range meats and ivory king salmon from Alaska. Our neighbors are awesome and our evening was blissful. The new backyard smells like moon flowers after dark.
Ahh domestic life.
Wednesday is when the first signs of stir craziness hit. No check. No money. I woke up at 5:30am and headed to yoga. It was a pleasant, medium intensity class that left me well stretched and mildly calmer than before. I came home and read a couple trashy magazines, a transworld surf, and last month's San Francisco in bed for a couple hours. All of which I "borrowed" from the gym. I chatted with my sister and found myself considering her offer to borrow a large chunk of money, despite it feeling like an affirmation that my business was a failure.
Ahh freelance life.
So I decided to surf. Off to the coast I went. But it was flat. Like a lake. Lake Linda Mar. The shorebreak was crowded with surf schools and I just couldn't bring myself to get wet. Everywhere else was blown out and still smaller than small. I drove home and rang my sister to accept her offer.
When I got there and checked the mailbox, my luck had delivered. Big check in the mail! The biggest one due. The one that would pay off my personal debt, pay next month's rent, and make a payement to my credit cards, and buy the super on sale wetsuit at Sierra Trading Post (so I can get the 5/4 repaired and ready for the winter when I'll really need it) and still have some cash left over!
Hallelujah! Why does money make you feel like you have freedom sometimes? I hate that.
It's an illusion. Today is Friday and I woke up at 6:30am. Motivated to surf and try and have a fast paced, productive day, despite my lack of work (until next week). The cam looked pretty bad. Winds already onshore a bit. The tide rapidly dropping to a low at 11am. Then the traffic cam looked even more discouraging. Then I felt the motivation slipping through my fingers and now here I am at 10am, back in bed writing this blog.
Ok I am being dramatic. I might still go surf, depending on how the conditions change. If I don't I'll definitely work out. A couple things have saved the day. The first is Alec Soth's blog. Everytime I feel lame, lacking in inspiration or discouraged as to why I am a photographer, I look there. I'll be honest, Alec's blog is not on my daily blog tour, but I use it when I need it. And I am so thankful. It's just so packed full of wonderful, geeky, photography porn that it's impossible not to get ideas (of your own) and feel excited.
It really has helped. I have a little photo exercise planned to document my new house. Pictures to follow. I managed to get amped to write this post, which I've been having trouble with lately. And as soon as I am done here I will get off my ass and do something. I swear.
Ahh freelance life.
Monday was a day of productivity and then frustration. I returned emails, worked on three bids for future work, and more or less waited on the afternoon mail to arrive. D was at home, working on the garden, and we went to breakfast and then the spent two hours at the bank setting up a joint checking account.
Ahh domestic life.
The afternoon mail was supposed to deliver a check I've been waiting on for weeks. From another photographer. Who I did contract work for IN THE BEGINNING OF APRIL. He promised it was going out last week. Needless to say it didn't arrive. After contacting him I realized it wouldn't be arriving anytime soon, because he is a poor businessman and I'll withhold from name calling any more than that. As you can imagine I contemplated putting my fist through the wall in frustration. Then I let my money troubles settle in the pit of my stomach, and I ran off to physical therapy.
Ahh freelance life.
Tuesday was a day of blissful harmony. I accepted my state of brokeness, and went surfing, a more or less free activity that gives me more satisfaction than most things in life. It was perfect, wonderful, and peeling. Small and waist-chest high, longboardable and juicy...optimal tide with offshore winds. It was a quick but productive session. Exactly what I needed.
Ahh, freelance life.
I rushed home to pack in a grocery trip in preparation for bbq night with our new neighbors. Thanks to D and his financial generousity, I went to the Farmer's Market and got some orgasmic, oops, organic, fruits and veggies, and then the Bowl for free range meats and ivory king salmon from Alaska. Our neighbors are awesome and our evening was blissful. The new backyard smells like moon flowers after dark.
Ahh domestic life.
Wednesday is when the first signs of stir craziness hit. No check. No money. I woke up at 5:30am and headed to yoga. It was a pleasant, medium intensity class that left me well stretched and mildly calmer than before. I came home and read a couple trashy magazines, a transworld surf, and last month's San Francisco in bed for a couple hours. All of which I "borrowed" from the gym. I chatted with my sister and found myself considering her offer to borrow a large chunk of money, despite it feeling like an affirmation that my business was a failure.
Ahh freelance life.
So I decided to surf. Off to the coast I went. But it was flat. Like a lake. Lake Linda Mar. The shorebreak was crowded with surf schools and I just couldn't bring myself to get wet. Everywhere else was blown out and still smaller than small. I drove home and rang my sister to accept her offer.
When I got there and checked the mailbox, my luck had delivered. Big check in the mail! The biggest one due. The one that would pay off my personal debt, pay next month's rent, and make a payement to my credit cards, and buy the super on sale wetsuit at Sierra Trading Post (so I can get the 5/4 repaired and ready for the winter when I'll really need it) and still have some cash left over!
Hallelujah! Why does money make you feel like you have freedom sometimes? I hate that.
It's an illusion. Today is Friday and I woke up at 6:30am. Motivated to surf and try and have a fast paced, productive day, despite my lack of work (until next week). The cam looked pretty bad. Winds already onshore a bit. The tide rapidly dropping to a low at 11am. Then the traffic cam looked even more discouraging. Then I felt the motivation slipping through my fingers and now here I am at 10am, back in bed writing this blog.
Ok I am being dramatic. I might still go surf, depending on how the conditions change. If I don't I'll definitely work out. A couple things have saved the day. The first is Alec Soth's blog. Everytime I feel lame, lacking in inspiration or discouraged as to why I am a photographer, I look there. I'll be honest, Alec's blog is not on my daily blog tour, but I use it when I need it. And I am so thankful. It's just so packed full of wonderful, geeky, photography porn that it's impossible not to get ideas (of your own) and feel excited.
It really has helped. I have a little photo exercise planned to document my new house. Pictures to follow. I managed to get amped to write this post, which I've been having trouble with lately. And as soon as I am done here I will get off my ass and do something. I swear.
Ahh freelance life.
