Had two awesome solo sessions in Santa Cruz over the weekend. It was nice to get away, be somewhere new, be with my family. The first was spent with a crowd during the outgoing tide at dusk, the following with two others during the incoming tide at dawn. Both were beautiful, different and cleansing. The air was so cold I had to pour warm water on my hands and feet continuously to keep them from going numb while changing into my suit. Frigid, biting. Like my life lately. Heavy. I find myself longing for easier interactions, less emotion and more acceptance in the world around me. Nontheless, I am still appreciative of the balance I strive so hard to maintain. Every day I surf (and the days I don't) I know how lucky I am to have so much beauty at my fingertips. The events of recent have reminded me that life is fragile and happiness can be fleeting. I realize this sounds dark but I don't mean it that way. Love,inspiration and experience make it worthwhile.
I've posted new work on my website at: brittanyMpowell(dot)com Thanks to everyone who left kind words here or emailed me privately the last couple weeks.
If I had known, your heart was down That lonely day in Greenville town Then I would have been more concerned But later on I truly learned How it can feel in every bone To really see you're all alone
But I'll kiss your head When death finds your bed And you are gone
And if I had seen,the way it would be I'd hushed your cries, when you came to me If I could do what I did to you The same to me that I would love for you to see That I sleep with remorse And regret hangs round my door... For ever more.
If I had known the lowering tide Was lowering with the way you felt inside If I had known all hope was gone A broken heart and a broken home That pierced, my lover's past And carved a lonely path... For her to walk
So if ever someone one says to you, Life isn't fair, get used to it Then you should say 'Well it might be If folks like you would let it be"
But I'll kiss your head When death becomes my bed And I am gone -the Avett Brothers
Got out for a long awaited, much anticipated session today. Swell was on, conditions were fair enough and I caught a couple good ones. The holiday stress has surfaced and with the tragic news of this week, this session was really appreciated. It's amazing to me that I can feel a bit of solace out in the water while surrounded by 100 fellow surf buddies, but somehow I managed. Sometimes the ocean is really the best comfort for sadness. It reminds you that the earth pulses something much larger than the day to day and all we really are is a piece of the puzzle. For that I am thankful for the waves, the surrounding landscape, for D, my good friends and family, and for the piece of mind that god gives me from time to time. Tomorrow is the memorial service at Ocean Beach. I'll admit I'm a little scared. Scared to be reminded of how she touched everyone's life with her warm spirit, or the sadness that leaves us with. Scared to see the photos, the faces of people's whose hearts have been broken, and the pain this has on my family and so many I'm close to. Most of all, scared to see the big waves crashing on the shore, and the outgoing tide as the physical evidence that the cycle continues, and that everyone must move on.
It's hard to will yourself to surf when there's oil in the water. A lot of people are. I think they're crazy. I look for a certain sanctuary while surfing--oil contamination doesn't fit into that picture. I realize that this spill is small compared to many, but the effects are proving both tragic and frustrating. I'm deeply saddened and depressed about what it is doing to the bay's precious habitat. I'm also deeply frustrated about the beach closures and the fact that surfing doesn't appear to be in my near future. After cleaning up at OB over the weekend I know it will be a while before our water is the same again. D and I headed to Santa Cruz on Monday for a session. My boyfriend is a good man. He tried it, again, for me, because it was my birthday. Let's just say he didn't have a very good time. I forget that paddling out into the ocean on a large board in a rubber suit is both a foreign experience and very hard work for most. Either way ,it was an interesting day and I appreciate his efforts. I didn't catch a lot of waves, as my concentration was elsewhere, and neither did he but it was good to visit a healthier big blue and be out there with him. I saw two otters swimming playfully in circles. The kelp was thick and healthy, and the sun was shining down on the somewhat small swell reaching the lineup at the Hook. It was a reminder of what makes our coast so beautiful, what I am already missing, and what I hold so dear. Hope I can get D out again soon.
Tuesday was my birthday and a wonderful day at that. I worked a mellow job, then had an amazing dinner at Dona Tomas, my new favorite restaurant, with my girls and D. Kim and Krys bestowed upon me my own much coveted copy of Sipping Jetsreams, and unlike how I felt about the movie, the book blows me away. This weekend is a campout party, my birthday being a good excuse to get everyone outside and in a tent in Wildcat Canyon. I can't wait. For whatever reason the stress has been thick this week. Could be the spill, the lack of water time, getting older, or the upcoming holidays. For whatever reason, anxiety always finds it's way to me this time of year. Either way I feel blessed. I have good friends, family and a man whom I love to love. Now if god can redirect that attention back to the water, it'd be alright.
Awesome, longer version of Patagonia's Sea Legs. The last segment includes a song by Piers Faccini, who I coincidentally just saw open at a mediocre Ben Harper show. This guy rocks, this vid does too.
In case there was any hesitation, any question, that your efforts weren't going to be appreciated. Now is the time to give back to the life force that provides us with what we hold so preciously-the water, the ocean, the waves. It needs us now more than ever.
Oil spill in the San Franscisco Bay. The beaches are closed. The wildlife is suffering. I'm in shock. It's times like these when I am reminded of the havoc we wreak on our surroundings, how disconnected we've become from the natural environment that surrounds us and how the future looks bleak for the creatures we share the earth with. Sometimes it's embarrassing enough to be an human, let alone an American.
