On Monday Kim and I + the boys drove down to Santa Cruz for a much needed quality surf session. We checked a couple spots, met J and C and drove north to a spot where the steep south was hitting a little stronger than in town. It was my first time at this spot, a place where J surfs regularly. I've been craving a good longboard session, so I opted for my beater log, and we hiked down the hill to the little hidden slice of paradise. It was beautiful, the sun was out, the water was blue and the cove was protected enough to be sheltered from the steady onshore winds. There was a small pack of guys out at the main peak, so we settled on the second one with a couple others and waited during the long lull in between sets.
The waves weren't very big. Chest high at best, and mushy with the full tide. I realized I'd have been better off on a snappier board, as the rides were short and best when taken off from a steeper point. So I settled with attempting to catch the leftovers. It was exactly what I needed--decent waves, good friends, beautiful scenery.
It's amazing how fast things can change.
A set rolled in and one of the guys from the outside pack took off on one of the bigger waves. He was a pleasure to watch, gliding and turning down the line. C was on the inside, paddling over the lip to get out from under the breaking wave. The guy barely missed him, but he knew what he was doing and he made steering around him look easy. The second he swerved away from him, he let out a holler and cursed loudly. Then he rode the wave all the way to shore. On his wave back in, this guy lost it. Cursing, yelling, screaming. "Get the fuck out of here." He pointed. C was wide eyed, because this guys response was absolutely ridiculous and immature. It was shocking. We all stared at him in disbelief. He paddled back to his friends and kept yelling from over there for a while.
It was over then. The positivity, the comfort, the enjoyment. This man's need for attention, to cause angry drama ruined the mood for all of us. We left. Part of me wanted to stay, just to spite him. But who wants to surf with that kind of stench in the air? It was my first encounter with that level of entitlement and localism. Again it reminded me of that night in downtown Oakland. It reminded me how easy it is to find yourself in a situation with someone who takes out all of their personal hurt and frustration on the world around them.
Our actions affect those around us. Some people care about that and some people don't. It is easier to choose to only focus on our own experience, what we need, what we want, and not take into consideration the kind of selfish energy we let loose in the world as a result. We can hurt people we don't know or even the people we love the most ...all because of a little thing called entitlement. It's impulsive and it's sad. Everyone is guilty of it at times but without accepting the guilt and shame that comes along with this type of behavior, you end up with a pile of deep seeded aggression and no where to put it. The unfortunate part is that not only does the person responsible pay the price, but so do the people affected by the tantrum.
In then end, the person I feel most sorry for from yesterday is that man himself.
We drove south and surfed in town. It was crowded, but mellow. All was not lost. It's good to make the best of bad situation and just move on, let it go. There are always other waves to be had elsewhere.
It's easy to forget that surfing isn't always an oasis but often just a mirror for the rest of the world, both good and bad.

White Buffalo show tonight at the Hotel Utah.

I've know I've posted this picture before...

Back in March, on a weekly trip to Bolinas, I met a guy named Ricky doing handstands by the beach. It was the perfect opportunity for a photograph, so I approached him and we talked for a bit. He was excited for me to shoot him. He was ecstatic about his life and the journey that had led him to Bolinas and he hoped to maybe get in the water to surf one day. He told me about how he used to be an architect and loved art and photography. The only feeling that I got from talking to this man was one of warmth and love. I photographed him doing handstands on the railing for almost a 1/2 hour. He tried really hard to hold them as long as possible for the camera. The surf was perfect in the background. It was inspiring and produced photos that I will forever cherish. I remember paddling out to the lineup later that day and telling Krystal I'd met my new friend crush. We'd exchanged email addresses and I hoped that he would contact me so I could have this wonderful new person in my life. In the coming months I saw Ricky from time to time when we made the trek to Bolinas . He was always friendly and full of good spirits.

Today I opened up the Chronicle online, see here, and read about a horrific beating that occurred in Bolinas last week. Ricky was the victim. To say I felt crushed was an understatement. Ricky was a kind man who ended up homeless in Bolinas to experience life on his own terms. To be assaulted and practically killed by five homophobic drunk teenagers is the last thing he deserved. What has the world come to when something like this happens in a small, peaceful hippie town that claims to be "a socially acknowledged, nature-loving town?"

Two years ago, D and I were assaulted on our way to a bar. Not only was it a physical attack I witnessed on the person I loved, but it was attack on my perspective, and it changed the way I saw the world for quite some time after. I will never forget the evil that was present that night. If every man has a temper or some sort of primal urge or frustration to get angry and destruct or self-destruct, when you combine those feelings into a group mentality with violence, the end result is the both the scariest and the saddest thing that exists in this world.

My prayers go out to Ricky and the people who inflicted this crime. The world can be too painful of a place sometimes. It costs nothing to lead with your heart and give with your soul. I don't know why we are insistent as humans to do otherwise.

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
-Mark Twain


Saturday night I headed to the Displacement benefit show in SF. The artwork on the wall was top knotch, the burritos next door at CanCun were too and the band that played (the Blank Tapes) were also suprisingly rad. Looking forward to seeing them again in July with the White Buffalo

J and I surfed a new (to me) spot in Santa Cruz on Sunday. It was pretty close to perfect, a bit out of my comfort level in terms of break and board, but enough in it that I could feel the exhilerating glide I needed. As usual there was some great surfing to be watched (including my good friend John), and we passed on a second session to observe rather than partake.

The summer is lingering on and with it a nice crop of experiences and decent weather to enjoy. Grief has a way of washing over you...sometimes it's like waves breaking overhead and other times it just splashes around your feet. Gonna have the annual bbq for the 4th at my house before I move out next week. It'll be a great opportunity to grill some meat from the CSA and make a salad from the backyard too! Plus, I imagine that the neighbors here in the hood will dish up a proper firework show to boot.


*I want to send my prayers and love out to the people who's lives and homes are being threatened by the fires. As CA burns, so does a piece of my heart.